Called for...Suffering?

"For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly...For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps." (1 Peter 2:19,21 ESV)


 "And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23 ESV)


One of the most difficult things one can do is follow one's vocation. Being a follower of Jesus can be anything but attracting or appealing to our fleshly senses.


The first Scripture, taken from 1 Peter, tells us that not only are we to endure suffering unjustly, but goes one step further and tells us that we are called to endure suffering unjustly.


The Greek word used here for "called" is the same one that Jesus used to call His disciples to follow Him.


"God doesn't want anyone to suffer" many people tell me, as my road with God can get difficult and painful. Maybe it is the case that He doesn't desire anyone to suffer, but He does calls us to follow Jesus' example of suffering.


Don't believe the prosperity gospel that is constantly preached in the media. Follow Jesus and everything will be better. All your questions will be answered. Everything will be bright and beautiful.


Right.


As the second Scripture tells us, if we wish to follow Jesus, we need to deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily and follow Him.


Cross, as understood in a first century context, is a symbol of death. The disciples understood clearly what Jesus meant when He talked about taking up a cross.


A cross was not a romantic or religious symbol. It was an instrument of torture and death.


God doesn't promise us that we are going to be happy. He doesn't even promise a happy ending in this life.


But He promises His Peace and Joy.


" Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice" (Phillippians 4:4 ESV).


"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us" (Romans 8:18 ESV).


Photo Credit: Baron Brian.

Looking for Connections

One cold night not too long ago, I was walking on Mission Street. I was on a hurry, trying to get back home before 7pm.

It was a Thursday night and I was getting ready for the Bible Study.

And then I collided with two young men. Their attire suggested that they were gang members. I simply said sorry and tried to move on.

They kept cussing at me, clearly pissed off that I had disrespected their space. Not looking for trouble, I just kept walking.

I feel God is calling me to make new connections with gang members, hopefully ones more productive than the one just described.

The Thursday night Bible Study is not attracting new members, as the old connections were lost and the ones who attend have simply moved on.

New connections are needed in order to invite more people to the Bible study. But how do you go about doing this? I can't simply walk up to a gang member on the street, greet him or her and ask "can I be your friend?"

Clueless in how to proceed and trusting in God's providence and guidance, a team member and I have wandered the streets of the Mission District, wearing our prison ministry uniform, and hoping that by being simply available we can one day make a connection.

There is some fruits to our apparent aimless approach. We met one OG one afternoon. We are connecting with one program that works with the same population that we work with.

I'm pretty excited about the future of this ministry. I know that God is already opening doors and making new connections. He is already working behind the scenes.

God can bless our meager and feeble efforts. Sometimes we have to proceed to do His work, even if we are not sure how to do it.

Photo Credit: Patrick McCully.

Hitting the Wall

Members of InnerCHANGE tell me that what I'm going through is expected. After 3 months in the ministry, many of us experience some sort of emotional meltdown.

What am I doing here? Where are the fruits of my labor? Why aren't more kids coming to our Bible study? Why won't they take me seriously?

Sometimes it feels like I'm wasting my time. Sometimes it feels like I'm taken for granted. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares.

"Me, me, me." It's all about me it seems. In these times it is easy to forget why I'm really here.

I'm called not to please people, to live in conformity where conflict is rare. I'm called not to have thousands of followers and disciples, where the youth is always nodding at my every word. I'm called not to impress people with my fruits, showing them in full display to finally silence those cynical and unbelieving voices.

I'm simply called to follow my vocation faithfully.

I'm simply called to seek first the Kingdom of God  and His righteousness. 

I'm simply called to leave everything in His hands and trust that He is in control.

I realize that what God is asking of me is not easy, but it is simple. I tend to complicate things, over think them, trying to decipher the secret code to ministry, solving complicated equations where the answers to all of my questions are finally answered.

How easy I forget that I'm simply the pen and not the author.

Photo Credit: r. f. m II.

Why God, Why?

Let's face it. Most of us at  some points in our life feel tempted to ask this question. I confess that I've asked this question many times this past week.

I'm still having doubts over many things that I'm listening in prayer. Yes, I have received some confirmations from other people of what I heard, but when everything around you seems to contradict what you're listening, and when there is no sure way to tell if what you're listening is really coming from God or not, it is very easy for me to fall into doubt.

I can give you a couple of examples.

First, the Bible study at Thursday night. I felt that God wanted to revitalize this group, and that He wanted to use me in it. The group's been dwindling down lately and it has for quite a while. It's been a year since I received this, but nothing seems to change.

Second, my anxiety. Many times I have heard that God wants to either heal me, liberate me, or offer some sort of relief from my anxiety, but little has changed.

I've been suffering from anxiety since I was a little kid. At times it gets better and at other times it can be debilitating. Many times I feel trapped in my own mind.

Anxiety and depression are deeply connected and I feel that while I haven't succumbed to depression lately, at times I feel deeply discouraged and saddened, and a big part of it is coming from my anxiety.

There are many other examples that I can give you, but these two suffice to make my point. Yes, some things that I've heard in prayer has come true.

Yes, I haven't been as faithful to God as I can be. I haven't offered all these things in prayer as often as I should. I haven't been seeking and knocking on Jesus' door as I feel He wants me to. Yes, I haven't been seeking the Kingdom of God first in everything that I do.

So all I can do at this moment is wait. Seek God first and wait. All of this it's better than asking "Why" questions that probably won't lead me anywhere.

Photo Credit: open pad.

Introducing Comunidad San Dima's Rapper Jaime

Jaime is an interesting character. He is a very quiet and jovial person. His unassuming presence exudes with humbleness. You look at him and the last thought that comes to mind is one of a rapper. But he enjoys rapping and has written a few rhymes.

He's a new volunteer at Comunidad San Dimas, a prison ministry where I do most of my ministry, but in his short time coming with us at juvy, he has become famous with they youth with his rap.

He's currently discerning his vocation to the priesthood, and I'm sure he'll appreciate your prayers for his discernment process.

I share with you a video of Jaime performing one of his rap songs. We were coming out of juvy one Monday night, so I apologize for the poor lighting conditions.

So a Catholic Missionary Goes Into a Pentecostal Church...

This is something that happened to me this past Sunday. I want to share this experience just to showcase how unexpected this ministry can be.

One of the youth we've been working with for the past year called me one night at almost 11pm. At times I call him and he is not in the mood to talk. He can be borderline rude, cutting me short and hanging up on me a few seconds into the call.

And then he can call me, and when he feels in the mood to talk, we can talk for hours. Unfortunately for me, that night when he called me, he felt in the mood to talk.

At 12 am, struggling not to fall asleep, I tell him that maybe we should meet for Church next Sunday, maybe the one he goes to. "Oh yes!". He seemed very excited. The night before I called to confirm our meeting at his church, and to ask for directions. He gave me the directions and said that he would be there.

So I come to this small church on Mission Street at 3pm when the service is supposed to start. As soon as I get in I see many ushers welcoming in. Oh no, I think to myself it is a Latino Pentecostal church. Not exactly my cup of tea.

First, I notice the loud music. Too loud actually. The worship band is playing the same song for almost 15 minutes. I didn't know the song when I came in, but after a while I almost memorized it.

I start looking for my friend, and he is nowhere to be found. Call him, he doesn't answer. Text him, he doesn't answer either.

The church is located on the second floor of an apartment building. There seems to be more ushers than churchgoers. Almost all the women are wearing veils over their heads. I'm surprised to see that a couple of women are actually wearing pants.

I always wondered why Latino Pentecostals manage to have a different accent than the rest of Latin Americans. They pronounce their "t's" softly, for example, as if an adult North American is trying to speak Spanish for the first time. The melody of the accent is also different. It seems as if they are perpetually preaching when they are speaking.

I suppose this is due in part because of the Pentecostals missionaries from North America that came to Latin America and started planting churches. Maybe, but I could be wrong.

Then they start this endless medley of upbeat worship songs. People start to stand up, some of them going to the front of the church. They start dancing. I see a woman with a flag waving it frantically, but she couldn't possibly be less gracious in her radically and undiscriminating movements. Two people with colossal horns start making even more noise. 

I see another woman going around in little circles rapidly, and just when I think that she is going to fall out of sheer dizziness, she stops and starts dancing on the same spot.

At almost 3:40 I see the pastor coming out from a door. Where was he this whole time?!. I'm still waiting for my friend and he is nowhere to be found. The loud music is giving me a headache. I'm deciding whether to get up and start dancing or keep sitting down and be awkward. I decide for the latter.

After an hour and 15 minutes of worship music, most of them repeated almost ad infinitum, I decide to get out of the church.

This ministry can be unexpected, and the flakyness of these young people can put you in situations that you wouldn't be otherwise.

Photo Credit: wharman.

Earthquakes, Halloween, Ghosts and Jesus...

I feel much better at this moment. A couple of weeks have passed since that chaotic week when I lost my job, when ministry seemed to go downhill, and my anxiety and emotions were getting the best of me.

Many opportunities for ministry have come my way now that I don't work at nights. I'm not ready to say that I lost my job just so I can concentrate on my ministry, but I know that God can bring out good from many unfortunate events in our lives.

This past Thursday's bible study was great. I took my team-mate's idea and, since Halloween is just around the corner, we talked about demons and ghosts.

The guys loved it, and everyone seemed anxious to share their ghosts stories. Hearing the almost fabled nature of these stories made me wonder how much of it was true and how much of it was glorified for mere shock value.

We had two earthquakes in San Francisco that day, and the second one added a literal shock value to our stories. While we were in the middle of sharing our stories the earth started to shake. The room's lights went off for less than a second, and everyone was in a state of utter shock.

Thankfully, the lights came on again. Everyone was silent. My mind was wildly amused by the apparent coincidence, thinking to myself, “what the heck is going on here?”. It was as if God decided to add His little touch to the stories.

Of course, talking about darkness seems meaningless, unless you include the contrasting light of Jesus. Later we talked about how we can fight darkness with God.

I learned many things in the past two weeks, and on that Thursday night I had to relearn something that I had apparently forgotten: the message of the Gospel is unnervingly simple, and its strength lies in its magnificent simplicity.

No need to complicate matters with heavy and pretentious theological terms. No need to delve into deep philosophical complications. And while these theological and philosophical endeavors have their purpose and place in God's plan for us, they fall short in revealing God's glory.

I learned the lesson St. John Bosco learned in his ministry with the youth, that the Gospel message should be presented so simply that even a little kid could understand it. Oddly enough, a simple presentation of God's message often leads to deep discussions, and more importantly, deep transformations in our lives.

Photo Credit: Sarah Ackerman.